This is a Pantless Knights tribute to our favorite entrepreneurs (who are all “new dorks”). It’s a spoof of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys’ “Empire State of Mind,” from the guys behind Grasshopper.com (thank you!). We made it because there’s a new type of dork that is cooler than ever. Look at tech entrepreneurs, hipsters, Computer Science Barbie – they’re all super popular new dorks! Don’t forget to rate, comment and subscribe!

Get the FREE SONG in mp3 here: http://pantlessknights.com/The_New_Dork_Entrepreneur_State_of_Mind.mp3

-beau, peter and david
the pantless knights

here’s the video we’re spoofing:

CREDITS:
Created by Pantless Knights / Seedwell.com
Produced by Beau Lewis, Peter Furia and David Fine
Directed by David Fine
Camera by Peter Furia
Line Produced by Kimi Milo
Lyrics by Beau Lewis and Peter Furia
Vocals by Paavo Steinkamp & Jacqueline Becker
Starring Paavo Steinkamp & Alison Mei Lan
Instrumental and Song Mix by Jeff Kite
Special guest – TGIF Crew – http://youtube.com/tgifcali

LYRICS:
Now I’m in the blogosphere, Now I’m in the twitterverse
Fans get so immersed, But I’m a nerd forever
I’m the new Zuckerberg, And since my website
I been cookin’ dough like a chef servin’ killa-bytes
Used to be the basement, Back at my mom’s place
Buildin’ web traffic so that we could sell an ad space
Make way for the, One man businesses
Bail outs finished with, White collar criminals
New sega genesis, Entrepreneur time
Makin big plans, To dominate the online
Yeah, I’m on YouTube, this is one man
Sharin’ google revenue, With songs on my webcam
Science is the new art, Databases day to day
Geeks spreadin’ sheet smarts, Hustle, make the data pay
I could be in Valleywag plus Geekologie
Tell from my avatar, That I’m most definitely

The New Dork,
Social networks – what dreams are made of, There’s nothing you can’t do
Now you’re the New Dork
This V.C. money is brand new, The geek is now damn cool
Let’s hear it for new dorks, new dorks, new dorks

Catch me up in Techcrunch, Right on the homepage
Hell, I’m on Gizmodo, In a photo bout a phone craze
And I’m up in Mashable, weekend trip to New York
Bar pitty, 1oak, parties full of New Dorks
Now I’m pitchin business plans, From the backs of napkans
Micro-lend to Africans, Monetize Kazakastan
Catch me up on linked-in, Dog, C.E.O.
You can see where I be, With the I.P.O.
Now I’m up in skinny jeans, Now a hipster’s lurkin’
Used to be a reject, But now I’m steady jerkin’
Now my glasses mainstream, Now the girlies eyein me
Popular kids copy me, The new swag is irony
Comin’ from the small time, Girls couldn’t find me
Now I scale models, Like I climb on top of Heidi
Start big trends, with tweets that I pass on
You should follow me, cuz I’m friends with Ashton
CHORUS

FACEBOOK
http://facebook.com/grasshopper

TWITTER
http://twitter.com/grasshopper

The Pantless Knights are at it again with a sequel to our “Mac or PC Rap.” This time we’re spoofing the Lonely Island / SNL skit “I’m on a Boat” with a Mac fanboy’s anthem about Apple culture and products. Don’t forget to rate, comment and subscribe!

-beau, peter and david
the pantless knights

here’s the video we’re spoofing:

CREDITS:
Created by Pantless Knights
Lyrics by Beau Lewis and Peter Furia
Camera by David Fine
Vocals by Beau-J & Furia feat. Pakwit
Instrumental and Song Mixs by Jeff Kite
Special guest Arthur Soroken as “PC Pain”
and Lauren Chow as “ComputerGal36″

LYRICS:
(Shortayyy) Ahh sh*t!
Get your laptops ready, it’s about to go down
Everybody on YouTube, watch the f***in screen
But stay on this muthaf***in page
We runnin this – let’s go

I’m on a Mac, I’m on a Mac
Everybody look at me
Cause I’m clickin on a Mac
I’m on a Mac, I’m on a Mac
Take a good hard look at the muthaf***in Mac!

I’m on a Mac, muthaf***a, take a look at me,
Straight iPhone’in hard, got the 3G
Bumpin iTunes, CoverFlow to be exact
You can’t stop me muthaf***a, cause I’m on a Mac!
Eat a virus bro
I’m on a Mac Pro
We rockin 8 cores hard
Watch the screen go
I got my SuperDrive
And my mighty mice-es
I’m pluggin girls
You at work, pluggin in devices
I’m on a tandem fixie
And a 64-bit
Friends are jealous
Cause Parallels can run their sh*t
But this ain’t P.C.,
this is real as it gets
I’m on a Mac, mutherf***er
don’t you ever forget!
I’m on a Mac and,
it’s runnin fast and,
I bought a neopreen green scuba sleve sham
I’m the king of the Jobs, on a Mac for real
If you’re on a PC, then you’re not C.E.O.

Get the f*** up, this Mac is real!
F*** a Zune, I’m on a Mac, motherf***a!
F*** right click, multi-touch, motherf***a!
I’m on iChat with my boys, motherf***a!
These turtlenecks ain’t cheap, motherf***a!
Hey, y’all, now I’m an Apple whiz
I never need to learn what a driver is
Gonna say goodbye to all viruses
Like a Nano in pink, anything is possible!
Yeah, never thought I’d be on a Mac
It’s like a streamlined good-for-you crack
Wozniiiaaaaak, look at me ooohhhh

I’m on a Mac, I’m on a Mac
Take a good hard look at the muthaf***in Mac!

FACEBOOK
http://facebook.com/pantlessknights

TWITTER
http://twitter.com/pantlessknights

© Pantless Knights / Seedwell 2010
Contact us at info[at]seedwell.com

our friends at MsTaken.com just announced a sweet “Douchebag of the Year” contest. check out the contest here to win a $50 Amazon Gift Card.

also, they just lowered the price for the MsTaken fake engagement ring + keychain fob and douchebag playing cards to $25. it makes a good holiday gift! [wink wink]

totally unrelated, stay tuned for a new music video coming soon…

My girlfriend, Debbie Glasband, recently returned from a 7 month job in Koraput, Orissa – one of the poorest districts in India. I spent 6 weeks with her there, in no small part to make sure she returned. She suggested I bring a video camera and that we make a viral music video starring the villagers.

For the last few years, I’ve been making viral videos professionally for companies to sell products (seedwell.com). In general, these projects have had the same goal: to generate impressions for businesses to improve their reach online. When I returned from India with some HD footage in hand, it was for a slightly different goal: to generate goats for villagers to improve their lives in the village.

I have an optimistic suspicion that there are millions of people out there who, if inspired by the right cause at the right moment, would donate $20. For me, donating a single goat to these tribal villagers in India provided that inspiration. I’ve seen gaming companies making millions on Facebook and PlayStation Network selling $5 virtual add-ons for avatars. I’d like to see the same thing happen with donations to good causes online. This was the inspiration for iwantagoat.com.

The campaign for goats starts with a local multi-media scavenger hunt in San Francisco, extends through a global viral video campaign, and channels all viewers to a creative donation website. These three components all push the envelope with technology, entertainment, and humor. All time spent developing the campaign has been donated by generous individuals. All proceeds go to an established goatery program, through existing NGO’s, and benefit some of the poorest people in India.

I anticipate controversy with this campaign. Some people will say we are exploiting tribal Indian villagers and making light of a serious situation, which is not the case. We are using the best vehicle we know, to bring the most possible attention (and potential help) to a serious situation. In this particular case, that happens to involve parodying Andy Samberg and one of the most popular and explicit videos on YouTube (http://youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU). It also involves creating a website where the donation process is actually fun and visitors can “pimp” their goats.

One of the best things I’ve discovered through this project is that people want to help a good thing. After meeting the villagers in Puki and Nua Kerenga, and seeing the work Debbie was doing, I couldn’t stay uninvolved. I’d like to thank all of the people who have been similarly inspired to contribute to this cause: Debbie for being the mastermind, Peter & David for the video, Tommy for the website (iwantagoat.com), Finn for the scavenger hunt (http://thegogame.com/bollywood), Jane for the free flight to India, and everyone else who lent a hand or participated. I’d also like to thank anyone who chooses to donate.

In looking for a financial sponsor, I was surprised to find that we had difficulty getting support from existing non-profits. I imagined, naively, that once I’d decided to raise money for a worthwhile cause, all related non-profits would open their hearts and resources to me. That of course was not the case, but it has worked out for the better. Because we are doing this project on our own, we have total creative freedom. That’s the beauty of the web. We can do this independently without bureaucracy or censorship.

Please consider giving a goat to the people of Koraput.
iwantagoat.com

- Beau

Design and donate a goat at http://iwantagoat.com – Our friend Debbie recently returned from 7 months in India, working with the people in this video. Beau (the Pantless Knight) went to visit her and together they shot this amazing footage. The people in Puki and Nua Kerenga villages had never seen a video camera before, but they understood our goal and were excited to let us help spread their message – THEY WANT GOATS.

Why goats? The reason is that goats work. Goats breed and multiply and help the villagers pay for medicine and other important things in times of emergency. They are a valuable source of financial independence for these people, who are very poor and often get taken advantage of by money lenders. The Indian organization where Debbie volunteered (SOVA), has been establishing goateries (real word!) in tribal villages with great success. The results have been empowering for the villagers. We want to help provide more goats for these people.

If you like the video, please share it on facebook, twitter, email, etc and consider donating a goat to help one of these amazing families at http://iwantagoat.com. Oh, and peep the Jordans on our goats, “White Chocolate” and “G-Pain”

- Beau, Peter & David.

LYRICS
Aw shit, get your travel shots its about to go down. (yea-aah, shortay)
Everybody in the herd get to the fuckin village (yea-aah, yeah)
But stay on your motherfucking hooves
We running this, lets go.

I want a goat. (I want a goat) I want a goat (I want a goat).
Everybody look at me cuz I really want a goat. (really want a goat)
I want a goat. (I want a goat) I want a goat (I want a goat).
Take a good hard look at the motherfucking goat. (yeah).
I want a goat motherfucker take a look at me
Straight livin in the village no lectricity (yea-eah-eah)
Pourin monsoon I aint got no raincoat
You cant stop me motherfucker cuz I want goat.
Take a picture, trick (trick)
I want a goat, bitch (bitch)
We eatin rice and dal
Cuz we aint rich (rich)
Im straight missin school
Cuz Im so naught-ay (cuz Im so naught-ay)
Im freakin hungry, you at Starbucks
Straight sippin lattes
Im pounding out some grain, chopping wood and shit
Carrying pots on my head damn you know Im fit
But this aint Bollywood, this is real as it gets
I want goat motherfucker dont you ever forget
I want a goat and
It aint no joke and
I got tribal dance moves
Like Michael Jacksaan (michael jacksaan)
Im the King of the World
Want a goat for rea-oh
If you got lotsa goats
Then youre sure not me-oh
Get the fuck up, this goat is REAL
Fuck TVs, I want a goat motherfucker (motherfucker)
Fuck cars, I walk barefoot motherfucker (motherfucker)
I play outside no toys, motherfucker
These livestock make noise, motherfucker (motherfucker)
Hey ma, if I get sick again (sick again)
A goat could help me buy med-icine (medicine)
And all those profits when I sell its kin (sell its kin)
Like Slumdog Millz, anything is possible (anything is possible)
Really if I get a goat
Itll help keep my family afloat
Youuutuuube
Look at me, ohhh
Really hope I see the day
When I send those moneylenders away
Believe me when I say
I fuckin deserve it
I want a goat. I want a goat. (ohhhahhhoh)
Everybody click the link, give a motherfucking goat. (yeahahah )
I want a goat. I want a goat. (sha sha sha sha sha)
Everybody click the link, give a motherfucking goat. (sha sha shortay)
(Shortay)

OFFICIAL VIDEO WEBSITE
http://iwantagoat.com

OUR FACEBOOK
http://facebook.com/pantlessknights

This video is our TWILIGHT: NEW MOON fantasy: what if Bella was part Buffy and shredded an epic rock ballad?

The story behind this video is that a while ago we got approached by a young woman who had an idea for a fake engagement ring to ward off douchebags. She asked us to make her a video and we made “Puke In My Mouth“. It was so much fun, we told her we had to make a sequel about Twilight. Hope you guys enjoy – don’t forget to leave a comment and subscribe!

-beau, peter and david
the pantless knights

btw, you can submit your favorite douchebag pick-up lines at http://myunwanted.com and we’ll feature the best ones in this video each week!

CREDITS:
Created by Pantless Knights
Directed by Peter Furia
Produced by Beau Lewis & Peter Furia
Camera by David Fine
Lyrics by Beau Lewis & Peter Furia
Instrumental Produced by Taylor Locke
Vocals by Erica Sunshine Lee
Costumes by Vanessa Johnston
Make-Up by Katie Furia

CAST:
Michelle Nunes as “Bella Swan
Beau Lewis as “Edward Cullen”
Judd Eliasoph as “Jacob Black”
Peter Furia as “Jasper Cullen” and “Felix”
Jay Iyengar as “Laurent”
Debbie Glasband as “Victoria”
Amy Barth as “Biker Vampire”
Arthur Soroken as “Aro”
Noah Lichtenstein as “Caius”
Katie Furia as “Jane”
Christy Von der Ahe as “Alice Cullen”
Finn Kelly as “Carlisle Cullen”
Amanda Boggs as “Esme Cullen”
Andrew Kitchell as “Werewolf #2″
Arjun Banker as “Werewolf #3″

LYRICS:
All alone, oh how things have changed
Edward is gone, but these feelings remain.
I’m horny now, and I have been all along
I ride this bike, and I wear this thong.
I’m a cowgirl, on a Vampire I ride,
Unwanted, undead or alive x2

Jake is nice, until he spits his game
All the people I meet, always want to suck my veins,
Can’t they see this Miss is Taken, 
my ring sparkles like his face, 
Now I’ve had enough, it’s time to rock this place
I’m a cowgirl, on a vampire I ride 
Unwanted, undead or alive x2

Ohhhh I ride!! 
[Guitar Solo]
I’m a cowgirl, on a vampire I ride 
Unwanted, undead or alive 

I walk these streets, at the front of a werewolf pack
Eddie’s about to die, and now it’s time to take him back
I’m in Italy, [Awww yeeeaahhh!] Volturi sausage fest 
They’re gonna let us go, cuz we’re not like all the rest.
I’m a cowgirl, on a vampire I ride
Unwanted, undead or alive x3

OFFICIAL VIDEO WEBSITE
http://myunwanted.com

FACEBOOK
http://facebook.com/pantlessknights
http://facebook.com/mstaken

TWITTER
http://twitter.com/pantlessknights
http://twitter.com/mstakenring

You can also get the song/album on iTunes – just search for “Unwanted” by Ms. Taken

One will be a spoof of a huge movie coming out soon and another will be a sequel to one of our biggest videos ever. Get ready!

EDIT 10.17.09:: *ROD QUAKE VIDEO REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT BY THE SHAKE WEIGHT PEOPLE. Clearly they don’t understand how remixed videos on youtube can increase marketing/sales potential.*

for installment #5 of “pantless picks” i’m bringing you a classic viral ad that you may have already seen (it’s about a year old): “A Vodka Movie by Zach Galifianakis, Tim and Eric”

if you don’t know these comedians, you should search for more of their stuff online. Tim and Eric have a show on Adult Swim and Zach Galifianakis most recently starred in The Hangover, but don’t forget to check out Galifianakis’ older stand-up stuff.